The 2-Minute Phone Hack to Build Lasting Connections
One of the quickest ways to build and foster relationships is literally in the palm of your hand.
What if I told you that you could strengthen relationships at work—and in your personal life—using an intentional approach that takes less than two minutes? What if you could consistently show people that you care, making them feel seen, heard, and valued for who they are and what matters most to them?
Let me share a moment that still sticks with me. I was on my way to a meeting with a team I used to supervise. This team did incredible work, supporting children and families. In fact, many of the team members had been participants in the program themselves before being hired.
As I walked into the meeting, I felt awkward and, frankly, a bit embarrassed. While I had met some of the newer team members before, I couldn’t remember much more than their names—certainly not their kids’ names or personal stories. Sure, I was polite and friendly, but the interaction felt cordial, not connected. Imagine how much more meaningful it would have been if I had asked about their kids by name or remembered an important moment in their lives. It was a missed opportunity to show I truly cared.
We’ve all been there. We genuinely want to show people we care about them in meaningful ways, but let’s face it—we’re busy, and we forget things. And yet, these small moments of connection when done right, can have a lasting impact.
Building relationships doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and attention to detail, one interaction at a time. The quality of those interactions matters more than the quantity. Research from organizations like Harvard Business, Gallup, and McKinsey & Co. shows that employees value feeling seen and cared for by their leaders—more than being recognized solely for their work. They want to be acknowledged for who they are as individuals.
As leaders, the higher we move up or the more people we oversee, the more difficult it becomes to maintain personal connections. Yet, it’s essential. So how do we build these connections in a genuine and effective way, especially in our fast-paced, digital world?
Here’s a strategy I wish I’d discovered earlier in my career as a leader. It’s simple and involves something you probably use multiple times a day: your cell phone.
Here's how to do it (steps may vary depending on your phone or software):
Step 1: Open the Contacts app on your phone.
Step 2: If you don’t already have a contact for the person, create one.
Step 3: Scroll down to the “Notes” section and add details you want to remember about this person. This could include their children’s or partner’s names, favorite hobbies, coffee preference, or an upcoming vacation.
Step 4: Keep it updated regularly as you learn more about them.
Pro tip: If you ever need to share their contact information with someone else, you can easily deselect the Notes section so the personal details remain private.
This simple practice isn’t just about remembering names and facts—it’s about fostering genuine connection. By paying attention to the details of people’s lives, you show that you see them as more than just a colleague or team member. It shows that you care about who they are as individuals.
This phone strategy is incredibly helpful in various situations at work and in life, such as:
Reconnecting: Attending a conference or meeting with former colleagues? Review your notes and walk into the room prepared to engage on a deeper level.
Dinner parties or playdates: Keep track of food allergies, dietary preferences, or favorite activities.
Special occasions: Make notes of birthdays, anniversaries, or upcoming life events, so you can follow up in a meaningful way.
These notes are connection cues, leading you back to meaningful conversations that can leave a lasting impact. Small gestures like remembering a child’s name or asking about a recent vacation may seem minor, but they can make all the difference in how connected people feel to you.
We all want to be seen, heard, and valued. As leaders, we have the ability to create moments of genuine connection with the people we interact with every day. And sometimes, the key to making those moments more meaningful is already in the palm of your hand.
Unlock the relationship-building power of your phone and start leaving those connection cues. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes in the connections you create.